JJ's 18th birthday

EIGHTEEN! What a special celebration we planned it to be. Eighteen candles and roses, a live band, a beautiful gown, a meaningful thanksgiving, family and friends, and her own album of original compositions as giveaways. That was the plan before we finally decided to leave for NZ. JJ my eldest daughter turned 18 on August 9, truly how time flies. JJ deserved a beautiful party like we planned it, but it was just not meant to be. I know she was looking forward to it but at the same time knowing it won't happen if we left. Coming to NZ with not a lot in our pockets made it almost difficult to plan birthdays. The silent understanding was not to expect anything. Back home birthdays were almost open invitations, here you have to count how many were actually coming. And so with this financial restraint, nothing was planned for her birthday. Good for her she had her Aunties who generously organized a celebration and made her birthday special. She did get pink balloons, 18 carnations,18 candles, first (?) dances, a really rich chocolate cake, of course presents, and lots of family around. Being in NZ, her only consolation is the fact that here they are not very keen on the 18th it is the 21st that they celebrate. So we will see. That is still three years away.

Waiting to exhale

I am waiting to exhale.

Yesterday was a not a good day, I suppose. The family is in NZ on a deferred PR application. After the three-month requirement of being in the job, my husband lodged our application last week and yesterday we got the Case officer's reply: "...job not considered skilled..." What now? If it was any consolation she gave us "in the spirit of fairness and justice" until September 2 to add to the documents or respond.

Ever since we arrived, I have tried to make the transition easy on everyone especially the kids. Together with my husband we have tried to make a home so they can settle. But truth is at the back of my mind is the gnawing 'what if'? There was still the matter of having my husband's work assessed. There were some encouraging signs like his boss was willing to support him and his co-workers who recently applied for residency had both been approved But yesterday was a reality check in this move to NZ.

I am trying to be as positive as I can not wanting to get carried away by the frustrations and negativities that often gets into my husband. But, I don't know how long I can do this and how long before I succumb to the fact that 'this was not a good idea'. I keep a brave front because I feel I had a lot to do with the final decision of coming over despite some setbacks. I feel I have to encourage everyone and show that that this can work. It doesn't help that I have found it difficult to find a permanent job despite or in spite of my qualifications.
Later we will try to see an immigration lawyer. We have no idea how much, we just need some advice before we can move forward. What we need now is a black and white answer to whether we got a case or not. If not then we have to pack up and go home?
Before that happens I am still waiting to exhale - and I don't think it's going to be with relief.

To blog or not to blog

I have long thought of blogging but have never really found the time, space, and courage (?) to start one. I would only read the blogs of others often finding myself interested, amused, informed and all those reactions depending on the kind of blog being read.

Even if one can post anonymously, maybe I really didn't feel comfortable with the idea of sharing my thoughts to I don't really know who is online out there. Starting this blog is a first step but I'm not even sure how long I can sustain this. For now because of the time in my hands I am here.